Tag Archives: Chris Christie

I’m GOOD, but I’m NOT God!

I’m GOOD, but I’m NOT God!

So…

You’d like me to sell your house you say?  ABSOLUTELY!!!  BUT.  There’s a few things you’ll need to do first.  Like patch the holes in the walls?  Paint the black walls a slightly lighter shade?  Rake the leaves from last year?  Ok?  You get that done, and I’l be back in 2 weeks to take the listing and take AWESOME pics of your house, m’kayyyyy?

I'm GOOD, but I'm NOT God!
I’m GOOD, but I’m NOT God!

Fast forward to 2 weeks later…

 

I pull up, leaves are pretty much gone, ok, good.  But the garbage cans are overflowing in the driveway, one is knocked over onto the lawn.  Heading for the door, I’m almost afraid to see what’s inside.  I knock, owner is all smiles.  The black room is now a perky purpley lavender color.   Ooooooooookay fine.  I go to check the walls.  Where the holes were, I MEAN are, there ARE now 2 dressers in front of them!  As in, the holes are still there!!!

So now I try to reason with the owner that the holes are, errrrr, unacceptable?  They don’t want to have to fix them.  Alllllllrighty then.  Moving on…

So, I start taking pictures of the home, asking the husband to please move the garbage cans so that I can get a good pic of the outside.  I get to the kid’s rooms, there are toys EVERYWHERE.  NOT on shelves, or neatly arranged.  Like, I couldn’t go in the room without twisting my ankles, which I DID.  Legos everywhere.  Books on top of toys on top of trucks.  Ok, let’s pass on the pics of THAT room.  I get to the master bedroom.  I kid you not, there were dirty clothes EVERYWHERE.  I can’t…..

At this point, I feel like I need a shower.  I’m done.  I get to the kitchen, where the sink is full of dirty dishes, condiments from their taco Tuesday all over the counter.   A cheery, “All done?!” from the wife.  Yep, I’m DONE all right.  “What’s wrong?” she asks.  What ISN’T?

I now explain to her that there is no way on this green earth that I can post pics of the house like this if they ever want to get it sold.  I explained that I gave them 2 weeks, and they didn’t do anything except paint the black room.  She then says she sees pics of rooms like this posted on the internet all the time.  To which I say “Yes, and that’s why they haven’t sold yet!!!  She sees nothing wrong.  She thinks the home will sell itself.  She literally says, sarcastically, “Well, if you don’t think you can sell it…”

At that point, I pick up my listing agreement and my camera, and I say, “Listen, I’m GOOD, but I’m NOT God!  I am NOT a miracle worker!  I cannot wave my hand and BAM!  Your house is sold!  I think you need another agent…”   3 weeks later, the home still wasn’t listed.  I watched and waited.  2 weeks after that, somebody’s sign was in the ground.  Turned out to be a newbie agent.  Not only were the MLS pics of the inside full of the laundry, the toys and the dishes, but the house was also priced $30k OVER what I told them they needed to list it for!  Newbie+lazy listers+tell the seller what they wanna hear=recipe for disaster.  Last I checked, the house was still listed at the same price, on the market for 146 days.  Did a driveby, same overflowing garbage, different day.  Eventually, they’ll learn.  Or get another agent that will do the right thing, as long as THEY do, too…

Guys, we ALL, as in ALL agents, are here to help you sell your home.  But we CAN’T if you don’t help.  Of course you love your house.  But you need to step back and ask yourself, would someone ELSE love my house if they were here right now?  First impressions are HUGE here.  You need to clean.  Declutter.  Polish your home like the diamond that it can be.  Only then can we get it sold for top dollar.

Whether you’re looking to buy a home, or trying to sell a home, I can help! We have the best real estate marketing to get your house sold, best realtor services ever! I cover Atlantic County, NJ, Cape May County, NJ, Ocean County, NJ, Cumberland County, NJ, , Gloucester County, NJ, Camden County, NJ and Burlington County, NJ, too! Pick a town, any town! Need some suggestions? Ok! Absecon, Galloway, Egg Harbor Township, Northfield, Linwood, Somers Point, Ocean City, Sea Isle, Hammonton, Williamstown, Sicklerville, Mullica, Tuckahoe, Middle Township, Upper Township, Lower Township, Rio Grande, Seaside Heights, Seaside Park, New Gretna, and Port Republic. Any you don’t see here? CALL ME! I’m sure I’m on it!

Chris :0)

Christine Gerbehy

Berkshire Hathaway Fox and Roach Realtors

Northfield Office

1001 Tilton Rd. Northfield, NJ 08225

609-646-1900

I’m a Realtor, NOT a Referee!

I’m a Realtor, NOT a Referee!

   Ok, so the ongoing reality is that when we went to real estate school, they taught us the LAW, NOT how to sell a home.  Well, there’s a WHOLE LOTTA OTHER things they didn’t teach us…

 

Liiiiike, how to negotiate… how to deal with rejection, aaaaaaand…

 

                                                                          HOW TO BE A REFEREE

 

“Wait, WHAT?!” you ask?  This isn’t what I signed up for!!!  I don’t play games… watch baseball… watch fights…  Oh, wait, yes, I do…

 

Now.  I deal with quite a few rehabbers, fixand flippers, partners of sorts.  Now YOU would think, and I would think, that in a partnership, everything’s hunky dory.  Partners know each other.  Meep!!!!  WRONG!!!  Creative differences are one thing.  Financials are another.  PERSONAL takes it to a whole new level…

 

I’ve been told BY SAID CLIENTS that I should have been a marriage counselor, a mediator, or,at minimum, a referee.  I have one set that didn’t make it through a deal.  I have another set that are KILLING each other every.  Single.  DAY.  And yet another that bicker on a daily basis.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  DING!!!

 

 

And it’s let the games begin….   I keep telling them that they need to meet in the middle, because at the end of the day, it’s all about the paycheck.  Two deals kept threatening each other with lawyers, they quit, they want to dissolve their partnership.  DING!!!!  ONE kept screaming, “List the house as is!!!” half completed. The other said, “I’ll let the place get foreclosed on first!!!”  I keep explaining that if I list it as is, they won’t get out as even a break-even.  I spent 2 1/2 HOURS tonite in the middle of 2 SCREAMING partners/clients that I’m in my 2nd deal with.  I know they’ll get through it, as I’ve been here with them before.  One headache and a bottle of wine later, everybody left on speaking terms.  DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!!!!  “The one looks at me and says, “You sould have been a referee, or at LEAST a marriage counselor!”  The other one apologizes and says,”I’m sorry, you don’t get paid to do this…”  I just looked at her, because it seems that in many of my deals, this is the norm.  As I hit the mat, down for the count, the final bell goes off…

 

We all deal with it.  Arguing spouses over whether to accept the low offer on their homes, partners arguing over how the money is spent, rehabbers fighting over what design will net them more money on the out number.  This is a time when you really hope that you really REALLY know your clients, so you can head the problems off at the pass.  Why?  Because if you can’t, or don’t, it will be YOU that will not get paid when the deal falls apart…

 

Remember, “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?”  You have float like a butterfly,  feel out the situation, try to calm it down, but if people are too busy mud-slinging, STING LIE A BEE.  MAKE THEM STOP.  Explain that it’s counterproductive to getting the deal DONE.  Clients hitting below the belt verbally?  TKO, disarm the argument.  Agents need to learn how to do the old verbal rope a dope.  Sometimes it can truly be an art form.  Verbal sparring is the order of the day.  Are you ready to come out punching?

 

 

 

Whether you’re looking to buy a home, or trying to sell a home, I can help! We have the best real estate marketing to get your house sold, best realtor services ever! I cover Atlantic County, NJ, Cape May County, NJ, Ocean County, NJ, Cumberland County, NJ, , Gloucester County, NJ, Camden County, NJ and Burlington County, NJ, too! Pick a town, any town! Need some suggestions? Ok! Absecon, Galloway, Egg Harbor Township, Northfield, Linwood, Somers Point, Ocean City, Sea Isle, Hammonton, Williamstown, Sicklerville, Mullica, Tuckahoe, Middle Township, Upper Township, Lower Township, Rio Grande, Seaside Heights, Seaside Park, New Gretna, and Port Republic. Any you don’t see here? CALL ME! I’m sure I’m on it!

Chris :0)

Christine Gerbehy

Berkshire Hathaway Fox and Roach Realtors

Northfield Office

1001 Tilton Rd. Northfield, NJ 08225

609-646-1900

Excuse Me, I gotta see a guy about a boat….

Excuse Me, I gotta see a guy about a boat….

Sooooooooo…

I get a bank owned listing. House is overgrown, place is a trainwreck, and then there’s….

THE BOAT.

Now, I hear ya, saying, “HEY! It’s a free boat!” TRUST me, NOBODY wants this boat. Been sitting, green with pollen, weather beaten, tanked, dry rotted tires on the trailer. Ok, so what’s the problem, you ask?

Welllllllll…

Because it’s at the house, even though it’s vacant, and the bank took the house back, they need to do an eviction. FOR THE BOAT. Why? Because apparently it’s personal property. Ok, fine. So I get all the DMV info for the attorneys. Why? Where do I live? New Jersey. Where’s the boat last registered? DELAWARE. UGH, another one that will be sitting for another 6 months before it gets listed.

Fast forward to last weekend, when I went to check on the house, and sonofabitch, dang boat’s still there. The ONE TIME ya WANT somebody to steal something, it’ll be there ’til the cows come home. So the neighbor sneaks up on me and scares the bejeepers outta me. She then tells me about

THE BOAT.

As a matter of fact, there HAD been TWO of them. Apparently,after the home was foreclosed on, the grandson and his friends had been squatting in the house. If you remember, after Hurricane Sandy, you can no longer have your boat on the street outside your home. The grandson decided to allow a guy to pay him monthly to keep his boats there in the yard. After said neighbor repeatedly called the police, they found the guy and he came and picked up ONE boat. Not

THE BOAT.

So I pass the info on to the asset manager. Who passes it on tothe eviction specialist. Who passes it on to the bank’s attorney. Who answers back to the specialist that answers to the asset manager who answers to me: SEE EMAIL FROM THE LAWYER BELOW ON WHAT TO DO ABOUT

THE BOAT.

Now, I thought that since I knew that the police had this guy’sinfo, I had things all sewn up into a neat, tidy package. The attorney’s email said that after many back and forth contacts with DMV in both states, the easiest solution is the simplest. He said to have me remove

THE BOAT.

So, I’m thinkin’ I’ll just go to the poice dept., explain that said boat was abandoned, and can they please come and impound it. I explain about the guy they need to find, and say just reach out to him and have him remove it. Cop can’t find any records on him. I give him the registration numbers. Invalid info on the search. Cop looks at me and says well, the bank owns the house, so now they own

THE BOAT.

I said, “Wait, you don’t understand. I get the pleasure of trying to get this done. What the hell do I do?” He says, “Impound it.” I said, “That’s what I came to YOU to do. He says, “I don’t do it, YOU do it.” I asked, “where do you impound it to?” He says, “You mean where do YOU impound it?” He said, “I dunno. A dump?” He says, “They have lawyers, right? Let THEM do it.” I wailed “But they want ME to do it!!! Listen, I own a chainsaw, the dang thing is made outta fiberglass!!!” To which he says, “well, THAT won’t work…” So, an hour and a half later, I left with no solution. So, what’s the one place that works for STUFF? Craigslist. Free to a good home. Don’t you know, by the time I made the 10 minute ride home, my husband had already gotten potential takers! In the meantime, just in case, would YOU like…

THE BOAT???

boat