Tag Archives: Barge

Excuse Me, I gotta see a guy about a boat….

Excuse Me, I gotta see a guy about a boat….

Sooooooooo…

I get a bank owned listing. House is overgrown, place is a trainwreck, and then there’s….

THE BOAT.

Now, I hear ya, saying, “HEY! It’s a free boat!” TRUST me, NOBODY wants this boat. Been sitting, green with pollen, weather beaten, tanked, dry rotted tires on the trailer. Ok, so what’s the problem, you ask?

Welllllllll…

Because it’s at the house, even though it’s vacant, and the bank took the house back, they need to do an eviction. FOR THE BOAT. Why? Because apparently it’s personal property. Ok, fine. So I get all the DMV info for the attorneys. Why? Where do I live? New Jersey. Where’s the boat last registered? DELAWARE. UGH, another one that will be sitting for another 6 months before it gets listed.

Fast forward to last weekend, when I went to check on the house, and sonofabitch, dang boat’s still there. The ONE TIME ya WANT somebody to steal something, it’ll be there ’til the cows come home. So the neighbor sneaks up on me and scares the bejeepers outta me. She then tells me about

THE BOAT.

As a matter of fact, there HAD been TWO of them. Apparently,after the home was foreclosed on, the grandson and his friends had been squatting in the house. If you remember, after Hurricane Sandy, you can no longer have your boat on the street outside your home. The grandson decided to allow a guy to pay him monthly to keep his boats there in the yard. After said neighbor repeatedly called the police, they found the guy and he came and picked up ONE boat. Not

THE BOAT.

So I pass the info on to the asset manager. Who passes it on tothe eviction specialist. Who passes it on to the bank’s attorney. Who answers back to the specialist that answers to the asset manager who answers to me: SEE EMAIL FROM THE LAWYER BELOW ON WHAT TO DO ABOUT

THE BOAT.

Now, I thought that since I knew that the police had this guy’sinfo, I had things all sewn up into a neat, tidy package. The attorney’s email said that after many back and forth contacts with DMV in both states, the easiest solution is the simplest. He said to have me remove

THE BOAT.

So, I’m thinkin’ I’ll just go to the poice dept., explain that said boat was abandoned, and can they please come and impound it. I explain about the guy they need to find, and say just reach out to him and have him remove it. Cop can’t find any records on him. I give him the registration numbers. Invalid info on the search. Cop looks at me and says well, the bank owns the house, so now they own

THE BOAT.

I said, “Wait, you don’t understand. I get the pleasure of trying to get this done. What the hell do I do?” He says, “Impound it.” I said, “That’s what I came to YOU to do. He says, “I don’t do it, YOU do it.” I asked, “where do you impound it to?” He says, “You mean where do YOU impound it?” He said, “I dunno. A dump?” He says, “They have lawyers, right? Let THEM do it.” I wailed “But they want ME to do it!!! Listen, I own a chainsaw, the dang thing is made outta fiberglass!!!” To which he says, “well, THAT won’t work…” So, an hour and a half later, I left with no solution. So, what’s the one place that works for STUFF? Craigslist. Free to a good home. Don’t you know, by the time I made the 10 minute ride home, my husband had already gotten potential takers! In the meantime, just in case, would YOU like…

THE BOAT???

boat